5 things I’ve learnt from Mark Manson
Mark Manson is the author of The subtle art of not giving a f*ck and Everything is f*cked: A book about hope. Reading self-help books to navigate my way around my 20s with the aim of creating a meaningful and a fun life experience has been a transformational habit. Out of all the books and material I’ve consumed within this period ,I can pin-point the authors and books that have really influenced me and challenged the way I approach the world. Mark is one of them.
Here are the some of the most important concepts I’ve come across from his books and blogs-
1. Experience
In a world that has made positive thinking the new norm but at the same time given every other emotion a red signal, we often find ourselves avoiding painful and ‘negative’ emotions and experiences. Mark says that when we find ourselves wanting a positive experience this means we aren’t in full acceptance of our current state and that in itself is a negative experience. But on the other hand , reaching to a place of full acceptance of our current state without the need to run away from it and change it no matter how negative we perceive it to be , is a positive experience. Now read that again.
2. Choice
Choice has been one of the most powerful concepts I’ve heard Mark and many other self-help authors talk about. We always have a choice and there is no exception to it. We choose what to care about and we choose how to approach the world. You might think that the media has influenced and created a certain narrative about things but at the end of the day you are choosing what to consume and ultimately what to believe. We have the power to completely change our lives just by choosing what to give a f*ck about. Be selective with what you care about and what you choose to give your attention to.
3. Pain
However ‘negative’ this might sound, pain is inevitable. We might think that achieving a certain level of success and security means no pain, but you will be surprised as to how many different problems those situations create. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t aim to be exceptional at what you do , but instead choose better problems for yourself. Your life will never be pain free and hence any means to create such a life creates more suffering. Pain shouldn’t be seen as our enemy but as a tool for growth. Pain builds character, teaches us about our values and gives our life meaning. If you actively work to avoid painful experiences you are halting your growth. Ultimately you have the choice to either learn from it or live the remainder of your life in denial.
4. Narrative
In simple words,a narrative has been shaping your life until now and will shape the rest of your life and everything in it. A narrative is a story you tell yourself about certain experiences in your life that have shaped the way you look at your life and the way you think about your future. Narrative is the meaning you give an experience. The bad news is experiences in life are inherently meaningless but the good news is the power to put a meaning and construct a story about the experience is in your hands. Reconstructing past stories that no longer serve you to a story that serves the current you is life changing.
5. Attention
We live in a society that has made giving great attention equal to great success. This means if someone or something has been given a lot of attention we automatically associate it with great success. Look at how social media works as an example. The more followers you have the greater ‘influence’ you have. But in reality, attention could be given to many things without the thing actually solving a problem or making the world a better place. There is tremendous pressure and a longing to become famous or known but that doesn’t equal success. You also aren’t obligated to measure your success by the standards of society. You get to choose and create your own standards. Don’t live in delusion that once you are famous or well known life will be a smooth ride. As discussed in the previous concepts, pain is inevitable. You choose what is worth suffering for.
These are some of the most valuable concepts I’ve learnt and that I’m still learning to implement in my 20s in order to create a solid foundation. As an end note I encourage you to challenge your own stories and beliefs that you have been carrying with you that no longer serve you.
