You don’t have to have it all figured out
Something that all of us tend to go through at some point in our lives is the need to have it all figured out at once. There’s an incessant narrative that has been conditioned into our minds since childhood that we need to know where we’re going and have it all laid out all at once. We need to know what stream we want to study in as kids, what college we want to go to and what jobs will make us financially secure and only then can we truly live well rounded lives.
Well, this narrative does more harm than it does any good. This causes us to follow the lives of other people who appear to have it all together and we hope that once we tick all of this from our checklist our lives will be smooth and sorted out. This also causes an irrational amount of fear that stops us from changing routes even if it’s the right thing to do. How many of us truly follow our dreams and not what the world expects us to have dreams about ? Who says that once we have it figured out our plan’s even going to work? Putting everything you have into one idea which may or may not be yours causes immense amount of stress and anxiety. Our brains are wired for survival and that’s why we tend to believe if we don’t have it all figured out all together we may not survive. That’s a distorted way of thinking which comes from a place of fear. We fear uncertainty, we fear change but the only thing that makes one generation better than the last is evolution. Evolution doesn’t come from being stagnant. It takes discomfort and the willingness to be uncomfortable for anything to even begin to change. How does this fit with having everything figured out? We all lay out plans for ourselves and have this idea of a life after studies or graduation,that we will get a high paying job and live a comfortable life. But that’s almost never the case. There’s struggle involved which is deemed as failure. If you aren’t out working your competition you aren’t doing enough. This causes us to take a ‘anything it takes’ approach to build a life that may or may not be fulfilling and hurting others in the process.
Having it all figured out sounds like a movie where scenes take place exactly how the director plans it, but sometimes the end doesn’t make us as happy as we thought it would. We go through life thinking we are the center of the universe and everyone and everything must revolve around us, but we are only the center of our individual universe. Taking the next best step that you think and feel is right without having a direction is okay. We may not see the end result or outcome of it which makes us think what if the worst case scenario takes place? Have you ever thought of the best case scenario ? Or even better , the outcome is better than you can imagine. You can only connect the dots looking backward , so in this moment the only thing we can do is follow our inner guidance system whether practical or not and feel into that next right step and let go of the need to have a bigger picture. Step by step the picture will take on a life of its own and you will find yourself right where you need to be. Life isn’t supposed to be a struggle or a series of checklists to tick off. Life isn’t waiting to be lived but living moment to moment on an everyday basis. So if you’re feeling lost or stuck that you don’t have it all figured out and you don’t know what you want to do or where you’re headed, just take the next best step that you think feels right without overthinking it and just go for it without judging yourself and beating yourself up for not being where you thought you should be. In simple terms, stop ‘should’ing yourself and just be. As you are. Things have a way of working themselves out when we follow the path of least resistance and commit ourselves to wanting to know who we are on a deeper level instead of who we should be.
